Changing Times

My last blog post was from about a year and a half ago. I was just getting ready to head off to college and start the long journey to becoming a doctor.

Man, how things have changed!

In this year and a half, I have cut ties with my old roommate after an unfortunate incident, started a job as a Nurse Aide at Madonna Rehabilitation Hospital, finished three semesters in the Biomedical Sciences Program at Bryan College of Health Sciences with a 4.0 GPA, began volunteering in the Bryan West Emergency Department, moved to a different apartment, and so much more.

As I look back at my old blog posts, I can see that I have grown as a person.

With today being the last day of 2017, it is inevitable that I take a look back at who I was this year and who I want to become in 2018.

In 2017, I decided I was moving out from a toxic situation with a roommate and the people she had brought into my life. Removing her completely meant removing a certain somebody that I spent a year flirting with and somebody I lost a lot of self-respect over. That part of the situation I am still working on, unfortunately.

In 2017, I decided that tailgating and frat parties and going out every weekend wasn’t going to be on my agenda…at least in the fall semester it wasn’t. Honestly, it was kind of nice to not have to worry about it, and I want to continue this trend in 2018. Sure, I enjoy the occasional party and time with friends, but I do need to set my priorities straight as I go into the new year. This includes spending that time volunteering, working on the weekends to make some money, doing more job shadowing, studying to maintain my 4.0 GPA, getting my booty into the gym and focusing on myself and my mental and physical health.

In 2017, I did not spend as much time as I would have liked to focusing on bettering myself and becoming the best version of myself. There were times when I did not care come Sunday mornings and I would not go to church. I am glad to say that I have broken that ugly habit and have yet to miss this whole semester and plan on continuing that trend.

I know that I had some definite highs and some definite lows in 2017. But  I know that I have some amazing goals for 2018, and I would like to share some of them with you!

I plan to focus on my physical health.

I will start by eating better. No more Panda Express, no more ice cream at nights. I will make good, wholesome meals. I will eat something for breakfast. I will take supplements and multivitamins to give myself energy and the nutrition I need daily. I will get my booty in the gym that I pay for each month and WORK.

I plan to focus on my mental health.

I will take my medication daily like I am supposed to. I will get a good night’s rest. I will pray to God morning and night. I will take time each night to reflect on my day rather than sitting on my phone at night. I will make less of an emphasis on social media in my life, and actually LIVE.

I plan to focus on my future.

I will volunteer weekly in the Emergency Department at Bryan — no more skipping because I am tired. I will prepare for my classes in advance — no more studying in the morning, no more winging it, and no more “My grade is good enough.” I will get my work hours completed before summer at Madonna so I continue to have good patient care hours this year. I will work in the office and writing center at school and do it to the best of my ability. I will complete job shadow applications and take time with physicians asking them questions and better preparing myself for medical school. I will purchase MCAT study books and focus on that exam. I will work on my research study so that I can conduct it for a longer period of time and collect more data. I will do my BEST.

By putting an emphasis on myself and who I want to be, I can excel so much. I tend to focus more on what others think of me, and I am tired of chasing after people who do not really care about me. I am going to spend that time bettering myself because in the end, I need to love myself before I can love or be loved by anyone else.




A Good Bargain

Recently, in my small town, a second-hand store was opened up for people to bring used items in need of a new home. All proceeds made at the store, The Bargain Box, go to different charities and organizations! So it’s a win win — people can get rid of old items and money gets donated to charity.

Anyway, now that I have given you a bit of a background, I recently stopped into the Bargain Box to look for some household items for my apartment as I move in in about two weeks.

I was simply amazed by the amount of items the Bargain Box had for me to purchase. And yes, the items had been used before, but they were absolutely perfect for a college apartment.

Knowing that I was saving money by doing this also made the reward that much greater.

Items I purchased include the following: colander, cookie sheet, 9×13 pan, crock pot, drinking glasses, cutting board, coasters, hangers, muffin pan, hand-held mixer, toothbrush holder, toaster, dish drying rack, measuring cups, and a can opener.

I purchased all of these items for $32.

And they look almost as good as new!

I was very proud of myself for being so thrifty as I will be off on my own in college and need to prepare for that!

Just because a store is a second-hand store doesn’t mean there aren’t amazing items inside. It never hurts to stop in and look.

You never know what you’re going to find!

Summer of 2016

You know how you always have really high expectation levels for summer? Like, “this summer, I’m going to go to the lake every other weekend.” “This summer, I’m going to hang out with my friends more.” “This summer, I’m going to lose weight.”

Well, I had some pretty high expectations as I just graduated high school. I was ready to have a good time by going tanking, hanging out with friends, and making memories.


I took a CNA class for three weeks and became a Certified Nursing Assistant.

I work three days a week.

I stay home on the weekends and sleep or spend time with my family.

I have been to the lake one day.

And I have yet to lose some weight haha.

Still, I have had a pretty good summer!

I had the chance to meet some wonderful people during my CNA class, and now I can find a good job when I move down to college!

I have the opportunity to make some money this summer as I am working more and even though the days are long, that paycheck sure is nice!

I have spent so much more time with my family and it has been absolutely wonderful!

I have also learned a lot this summer..and no, I do not mean learning to change an incontinent brief, how to turn someone to the lateral position, or how to orally take a temperature.

I have grown as a person because I have focused on what is truly important in my life.

I have spent time with family instead of going out with fake friends who don’t really care about me.

I have become a Student Ambassador for my school and get to attend Health Camp again.

I don’t mean to say that I have not had fun. I have had plenty of fun, I have just focused on the little and big things that matter to me and grown up over the course of this summer.

I may only be a college freshman, but I want to be a doctor, and that will take countless hours of hard work, dedication, and most of all studying, so I am taking the opportunity to better myself this summer for my future job.

I can’t think of a better way to spend summer.

So here’s to summer 2016.



I’ve been having a lot of thoughts lately regarding a non-narcissistic way. You know when you lie in bed at night and a million thoughts come rushing into your mind? Well, lately, I have had too many thoughts about myself and my self-confidence and my body and all that fun jazz that we try to oppress from our minds because we don’t like to think about them.

Well, anyway, it has gotten me thinking about what I want for myself and who I want to become.

As I have written in previous blog posts, I have suffered from depression. This has caused me to gain weight and become even more unhappy.

Yet, even if I am unhappy about this weight gain, what am I doing to lose it?

See that’s the problem. I may “want” to lose weight. I may “want” to be more healthy. But until I actually start doing something about it, I will continue to be unhappy with my body.

It’s not enough to tell myself, “I’m going to wake up tomorrow morning at 6:15 and go for a walk around the section.” I need to actually get up and walk around the section.

My alarm goes off each morning, and as always, I snooze it and don’t go for a walk.

Instead of starting my day off with the sunrise and enjoying the beauty of the world, I sleep and avoid doing what I know I should be doing?

Some motivation.

As much as I may say I want to lose weight or do this or do that, unless I find the motivation and the strength to do something about it, I will remain the same.

I definitely know I do not want that, so by writing this blog post, I hope for it to be a reminder to me that I want to change.

I want to change for the better.

I can do this by making the effort, and I fully intend to make that effort.

After all, my favorite thing to do is prove people wrong!


It’s Life

It has been one week since I graduated high school, and it still has yet to set in.

As I told everyone at work who asked, it probably won’t set in until I am alone in my apartment over 100 miles from my parents and younger brother.

It seems like just yesterday I was walking into the halls of my high school, and now, I am officially a high school graduate.

Now time to move onto bigger and better things.

It’s time for countless hours of studying and harder classes and living on my own.

It’s time to be a big girl.

It’s time to really be an adult.

It’s time to support myself.

I don’t know how this time has come so fast, but I know that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” as stated in Philippians 4:13.

Life moves so quickly, so we need to leave each day to the fullest and be the best versions of ourselves.

We need to focus more on who WE want to be and not who OTHERS want us to be.

We need to chase after our dreams.

We need to work for what we want.

Don’t let life pass you by without taking the time to cherish the memories made along the way.



Negativity vs. Positivity

A negative mind will never give you a positive life.

This is a quote from my old Erin Condren Life Planner, and it fits really well with how I have been thinking lately.

I applied for the student ambassador program at the college I will be attending in the fall, and I am supposed to receive a call to schedule an interview. My roommate already received and scheduled this interview and I have not heard anything from the college.

I was talking with my best friend about this and she made me realize that I was acting very selfish and not at all like myself.

Yes, of course, I wish it was me who had the interview already or at all, but I still need to be happy for my roommate and wish her good luck because it is also very important to her!

Changing my mindset has already changed my daily life so much. Instead of focusing on the negatives, I think of all of the positives of the day.

Whenever I feel the urge to complain I do my best to ask myself if that negativity is good for my body.

Thanks to my best friend, I am feeling better about myself and better in general.

Suffering from depression, it can be very difficult to think about the positives, but by making a conscious effort to avoid negativity, I am kicking my depression right out of my life!

A negative mind will NEVER give you a positive life.



A Chapter Ending

Bye Bye Birdie.

Once Upon a Mattress.

Anything Goes.

Back to the 80s.

These thirteen words sum up a big part of the last four years of my life. They are the names of the four musicals I have been a part of throughout high school.

Tomorrow and Saturday, I will perform on the stage in that gymnasium for the last time.

I have spent most of my high school in the gym. Honestly.

I participated in volleyball all four years and basketball for three years one-act play production for four years and musical for four years.

Obviously for volleyball and basketball, I spent the most time in the gym. I had practice for two and one-half hours each day after school. During the summer, I spent time lifting weights and in open gyms or summer leagues.

One-Act practices were also held in the gym. Early morning practices each day before school highlight this season.

Finally, musical practices, the longest of them all, are held in the gym as we prepare to showcase our talents for the crowd and to put on the best musical possible.

It seems like just yesterday I was wearing a pink jacket that said Conrad Birdie on it with a big heart.

Or that I was just painting my face white and putting on my jester costume and dancing around the stage by myself.

Time truly does fly by.

I also have thirteen days left in high school.

A chapter of my life is truly ending, so all I can say is:

We love you Conrad.

It wasn’t the pea.

They say bears have love affairs.

Cut footloose.

Thanks for the memories.